Tuesday, 25 March 2008

A Conversation

A Conversation

Recorded by

Faiz A Faiz

31/10/06

Mourya Sheraton

Scene: Mourya Sheraton. National summit of a renowned institute is going on. The ACs are off. Students are in suits(which according to them are of cheap quality and highly uncomfortable). Two students A and B are sitting together.

A: don’t we loo perfect clown in this get up?

B: Yeah, we do. (pauses)

But then an educated person should always look like. Remember how much we pay those fashion designers to d├ęcor ourself.

A: at least the ACs should be on.

B: I feel so. (takes a deep breath)

(continues…) faculties are here too but they are in more comfortable clothes.

(suddenly everyone claps. Guess is another honcho has just finished his lecture).

A and B also clap.

A: Why the hell are you clapping? You don’t even know the topic.

B; Gentlemen claps only when others are clapping i.e. when they feel they should clap , they clap

(yawns..) I don’t understand.

A: What?

B: Why they expect us to understand topics in 30 minutes which they took 30 years to understand?

A: exactly.

B: It’s so monotonous.

A: cheer up. At least you are in a 5 tar hotel.

B: It is even more pathetic. For two days we are in a 5 star hotel and we haven’t enjoyed for a single moment.

A: (sigh…) You talk so well. You are almost always correct.

B: It is not like that. You have a very agreeable nature.

A: oh, it’s nothing. But by God, look at her (and they get engaged in a deep conversation about a very beautiful girl who is their classmate).

Suddenly everyone stands up and takes their shoes in their hands.

A: now, he has not talked that badly.

B: but he is asking for it. And as a future manager you must learn how to please everyone.

A: But you can’t please both Rama and Ravana at the same time!

B: Then you are not a good manager. You will never be on that podium to bore the future generation even after 20 yrs.

A: I wonder.

B: For the next 6 hours you are only allowed to do that.

A; don’t forget the sleep factor.

B laughs. Then cautiously checks whether anyone is noticing. Then relaxes.

Another honcho finishes. Among clapping comes the most awaited announcement. Students are asked to take their tea.

With plateful of unknown delicacies they start roaming. They come face to face with advertisements.

A: now what Hutch expects to gain by sponsoring our summit? All of us to change our connexions to Hutch?

B: oh no. its called quid pro quo. Our college will say “you know, HUTCH sponsored our summit” and Hutch will say “you know, we were the main sponsor of that summit at Sheraton”.

A: Its so silly.

B: everything regarding this is. (starts singing… yaara silli silly birha ke dhup me jalna)….

Jaan jalake rakh diya is silly thing ne.

Tea finishes. They reluctantly retraces to their seats.

Lecture starts again.

A: What about the faculty? Aren’t they bored?

B: I don’t know but I wish they are. They bore us everyday in class so let them get bored at least for two days.

A: (mockingly) you bad boy. You should respect your teachers.

B: (seriously) oh, but I do, I do. Now don’t drag me into any controversy. I am not a second class heroine of bollywood who are forced to survive on controversy.

A: (excitingly) have you seen my new Katrina Kaif wallpaper in my lapy? She is looking so cute.

B: she always look cute, whether on your lapy or not. (smiles)

(Then they doze for a while, curtain comes down.)

Part-II

Scene: summit has ended for the day. Its evening. A and B are on the street outside the hotel, walking towards hostel probably to save a few rupees.

A: So how was the day?

B: you know that yourself.

A: I was but sleeping.

B: I can’t claim that I was awake.

A: What do you think about the whole thing?

B: That I wanna to be in the disciplinary committee next year.

A: why?

B: ‘coz none was monitoring heir activities. You can be free.

A: god observation.

B: oh that’s nothing. You only have to keep your eyes open.

A: oh, but you were sleeping, weren’t you?

(both starts laughing)

B: I can’t find a cigarette shop!

A: oh, there is one.

(They both lit and drags with closed eyes. Tremendous pleasure is visible on their face.)

A: now I feel burdens removed.

B: huh.

(Silently they drag for a few moments)

A: so. What do you make out of the topic of the summit?

B: what was ir?

(they try to remember, stress is evident)

A: it was something like “unleashing India’s transformation for growth potential” or was it “transforming India’s growth potential for unleashing”?

(they both discuss the topic and after various permutation and combination of those words agree that the topic was “India’s potential growth for transforming unleashed”).

A: now what does that mean?

B: MBAs shouldn’t discuss topics which have any real meaning. The topics must be obscure. Only then they can debate. You know, you can only discuss and argue when nobody knows the answer and nobody understand the topic. So a very well chosen topic.

A: are you a cynic? Never do you talk straight.

B: whatever I do I have learnt from the big-shots. This is not an exception.

Unfinished…………….

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