When Oscar Wilde stopped composing people asked him the reason. He replied, when I didnt know, I wrote; now I know so I dont write anymore. Without claiming to understand what he exactly meant I may use that excuse as well as you may have noticed in my every writing I talk of things which I dont understand at all and thus I keep on writing. This is no exception and so if you are tired of phrases like ¨Ï dont know¨, ¨I dont understand¨ then you may stop reading right at this dot of time because I am again going to talk about love, which although I have felt and come under the influence of, never actually understood. But why be harsh on myself? Who understood this feeling and went on to explain it completely and fully!
We had a maid who had an unusual life by Indian standards. She was married and had a little son when she eloped with her childhood love and married him. She took her son with her and they were living together. At this point of time, she started to work for us. The kid wasn't too attractive, often used to be sick and always whining.
The news came as a shock. We, in our family, knew that the stepfather doesn't like the kid (well then which step-father does!) and often slaps and shouts at him (I forgot to mention, the kid was around two and a half years old). Little did we guess that one day, in a drunk state, he would beat that little kid so badly that the kid would die.
The news spread like fire, local people stopped the fast and quiet burial the stepfather arranged, local police were informed and soon they arrived. People also had some fun slapping exercise (this is the cruelest part, people behave like they finally have a chance to have some fun by harassing the culprit rather than to express the anger against the crime done) but what surprised me was the attitude of that woman.
Silent she was, no tears, no crying, no nothing. I was there (don't ask me with what intention). She was rather sympathetic when crowd physically harassed her husband although not being too expressive. People called her a witch, a heartless bitch, the cruellest mother on earth and many other chosen unprintable names. At that moment I also agreed because, after reading and experiencing mother´s love for her kids, it was almost unbelievable that she wouldn't have any visible grief on her face.
It was after few months, to be more specifically yesterday (yes, I couldn't forget the incident and often wonder what happened to that couple in police custody because the stepfather later confessed his misdeed) a new thought hit me. What we saw was a cruel mother, biggest display of heartlessness but on the same time we saw a crazy lover who couldn't stop loving and caring for,forget hating, the killer of her own son. The display of complete lack of love towards her son was also a display of unwavering love towards her life partner.
Once again, I must say, I failed understand what love is. Once again I accept, like always, love, like many other divine issues (life is one) can only be felt not understood. To understand love is to be God. For us, it is just a chance to witness the new colours love can take and keep your eyes wide open for you don't know when in which shape love may appear.